Post by StressedOut on Nov 10, 2005 20:27:50 GMT -6
By Grace Rank
Discipline is hard work and should not be confused with punishment. Discipline (from the same root word as disciple) is teaching, guiding, and helping the child or youth to learn behaviors which will enable him or her to learn SELF CONTROL. The parent holds the image of loving teacher.
Punishment, on the other hand, is inflicting physical or emotional pain in an effort to control a child's behavior. It uses EXTERNAL CONTROL to attempt to change behavior, and often results in defiance and aggressive reactions. When punishing without teaching, the parent holds the image of a policing agent.
While it is not possible in this space to discuss all the effective methods of discipline, there are some basic concepts that underlie all methods. They are the KFC rules.
KIND. Children learn what they live with.
I will treat and talk to my children as I would treat and talk to Jesus or a visitor in my home - with kindness, courtesy, manners and respect.
FIRM. Children need to know that a loving parent or caretaker is acting in their best interest and is in authority.
I will make a reasonable decision about a situation and stick to it (with kindness and a calm approach) knowing that my child may react in an unpleasant manner.
CONSISTENT. Children need and thrive on predictability.
1 I will ensure that persons in my home, caring for
my child, agree on the rules of behavior and consequences for misbehavior.
2 I will ensure that consequences for misbehavior
are similar for each child in my home, and
3 I will ensure that the each and every time a
misbehavior occurs it is met with the same consequence (no matter how stressed or tired I am).
Heavenly Father, I thank you for the gift of my children. Let anger be no part of my
discipline, but assist me, please, as I strive to model and teach my children self control. Amen
(, a registered nurse, a Certified Parent Educator and member of many state child advocacy organizations, is the School Health Administrator for the Department of Catholic Schools for the Diocese of Corpus Christi. Her monthly column, What's a Parent to Do, offers practical suggestions for parents.)
Grace Rank does makes since.
Discipline is hard work and should not be confused with punishment. Discipline (from the same root word as disciple) is teaching, guiding, and helping the child or youth to learn behaviors which will enable him or her to learn SELF CONTROL. The parent holds the image of loving teacher.
Punishment, on the other hand, is inflicting physical or emotional pain in an effort to control a child's behavior. It uses EXTERNAL CONTROL to attempt to change behavior, and often results in defiance and aggressive reactions. When punishing without teaching, the parent holds the image of a policing agent.
While it is not possible in this space to discuss all the effective methods of discipline, there are some basic concepts that underlie all methods. They are the KFC rules.
KIND. Children learn what they live with.
I will treat and talk to my children as I would treat and talk to Jesus or a visitor in my home - with kindness, courtesy, manners and respect.
FIRM. Children need to know that a loving parent or caretaker is acting in their best interest and is in authority.
I will make a reasonable decision about a situation and stick to it (with kindness and a calm approach) knowing that my child may react in an unpleasant manner.
CONSISTENT. Children need and thrive on predictability.
1 I will ensure that persons in my home, caring for
my child, agree on the rules of behavior and consequences for misbehavior.
2 I will ensure that consequences for misbehavior
are similar for each child in my home, and
3 I will ensure that the each and every time a
misbehavior occurs it is met with the same consequence (no matter how stressed or tired I am).
Heavenly Father, I thank you for the gift of my children. Let anger be no part of my
discipline, but assist me, please, as I strive to model and teach my children self control. Amen
(, a registered nurse, a Certified Parent Educator and member of many state child advocacy organizations, is the School Health Administrator for the Department of Catholic Schools for the Diocese of Corpus Christi. Her monthly column, What's a Parent to Do, offers practical suggestions for parents.)
Grace Rank does makes since.